Back in the fall I was twenty miles into a long run when my hip started screaming. I rubbed it out and did a little walk/jog number the rest of the way home. I took Sunday off, and gave it a go on Monday morning. Hip was still chatting away. I took the rest of the week off and opted for a 13-mile hybrid on Saturday (5 out. 5K race. 5 back).
Two miles into the first leg my hip started in. I stopped, stretched some, then finished the last 3 mi with a bit of an ache. I arrived an hour before the race started so I stretched, whined to my friends, and did what I could to stay off my bad leg. An 8AM air horn was followed by a 22:42 (7:19) run.
When I finished, my hip was wailing louder than ever. I was done. Done for the day, and depending on what the doc would say, possibly done for the year. Come Monday I dropped by my go-to walk-in physician. The doors opened at eight, I arrived on the dot, and still I managed to be sixth in line. The rest went a little like this:
- 8:05 AM Check-in. Fill out paperwork. Pay $30 co-pay.
- 9:41 AM Name is called. Nurse weighs me, takes my blood pressure, and records my temperature. She takes me to Room 1 and talks to me for 6 min about my ailment. After that it’s adios muchacha.
- 10:12 AM Doctor shows up. We talk RE: barefoot running and his trip to Glacier National Park 30 years ago. He presses on my hip. I say “Ow!” He laughs and does it again. I wince and think bad thoughts on the old man.
- 10:19 AM Consult ends. Doc leaves and orders X-rays.
- 10:21 AM Change in to a hospital gown. Sit on my drafty duff and wait to be X-rayed.
- 10:23 AM Nurse arrives. We leave for the X-ray party.
- 10:32 AM Nurse takes X-rays.
- 10:38 AM Return to Room 1 and wait. Play through level 1 of Spy Mouse.
- 10:42 AM Doc returns. No sign of fracture. Most likely soft tissue. Sending X-rays to a radiologist to confirm. To get a rise outta me he throws around lingo like “bursitis” and “compensatory hypertrophy” then pushes on my hip some more. Recommends a cortisone injection to get me through my next marathon. Then suggests rest and PT afterwards. I think he was trying to tell me to, “Man up b*tch!”
- 10:44AM Doc leaves to get the syringe.
- 10:50AM Doc returns with a gigantic syringe filled with cortisone and marcaine. Pushes on my hip again to find the sweet spot. Violates me with the needle. Then we shoot the breeze (including a 2 min bit RE: a wacky friend who used to email him raunchy porn).
- 10:55AM Doc leaves.
- 10:56AM Get dressed and head out the door.
FTLOG! How did a seemingly run-of-the-mill consult last 3 HOURS? Don’t say it’s because I went to a walk-in clinic. If I had I made an appointment with my sports med doc the visit would’ve been just as bad only I would’ve had to wait several days to get there. Seriously, WTF is up with doctor’s offices and why do we even bother making appointments? Why not make all doctor’s offices walk-in? At least then our low expectations would be spot on.
I really shouldn’t complain (too much). I got out of work for 3 hours, heard some colorful stories, beat level 1 of Spy Mouse, and I received a cortisone shot that will allow me to keep up with my marathon training. It could’ve been worse you know. I could’ve been waiting for Guffman.